My rambling about Eminem’s nonsensical lyrics has been published on the CALMzone site. Have a read here if you like.
CALMzone are great, they support vulnerable men under 35 (who are at the greatest risk statistically of suicide) and generally challenge what it is to be a man. Helping to move people away from outdated stereotypes of masculinity and encouraging people to be themselves and enjoy it rather than worrying about what people think, they also provide a forum for honesty and creativity. (I’ve written for them before – here.)
Have flick through their site when you have a moment. Good stuff.
I hate blowjobs. OK maybe I don’t hate them, I just don’t love them as much as every other guy seems to. I just don’t go in for this idea that just because you’ve got your old chap in someone’s mouth that it is inherently brilliant. Besides some girls just aren’t that great at doing it. Continue reading.
He dreams. We are walking along a dusky beach, he and her. There may be other people but they are of no concern to the couple that walk. She was angry at him earlier but she has looped her arm around him now and she beams up at him. They trip and roll on the sand or is it grass? Perhaps they’re in a garden. They’re late for something but can’t remember what. Neither care now, they’re so involved in each other that they’ve forgotten each other. Read more.
I’ve never been a fan of comic books myself, but everyone seems to be creaming themselves over superheroes and vigilantes these days. I’ve always thought they were just boring people’s sad fantasies. I guess my dislike for these nerdy cartoons was what prevented me from realising that I technically have a superpower. But my friend Tony tells me that’s what I have. I wasn’t bitten by anything irradiated or zapped by cosmic rays or any such bullshit. Having said that, my story is pretty ridiculous. Read more
Well, a glorious time was had at Leefest with inczine a couple of weekends ago with the likes of Raymond Antrobus, Mr Gee, Dean Atta, Glor Sanders and Angry Sam. If you were there you might have picked up a copy of the Leefest edition of inczine, illustrated by Diego Mallo and Lorna Scobie. Here’s my poem from the inczine special that you cannot buy for love nor money. Thank you to Lorna Scobie for the birdies.
If you want to buy copies of the previous issues in which I feature you can get them for love or money (just money I think) here.
This is a bad dream. Just like all the worst nightmares it is essentially a good dream turned sour. Every girl I have ever so much as kissed is here. All the tangs I’ve tasted, all the breasts I’ve squeezed and all the hands I’ve held are with me now. Read more.
A while back I wrote a poem especially for Nick from Annexe magazine to make into a tape cassette for his exhibition Sites of Alternative Publishing. Mine and a few others including Anya Pearson from inczine were displayed in 5 years gallery in Hackney. I didn’t realise at the time but someone made a video of my poem.
You can read the poem in the video here.
Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. I used to hate that phrase. What does it even mean? You want a monkey to shag and impregnate your sister? It doesn’t make any sense. I heard somewhere it’s something an evolution sceptic said. I’m sure it’s probably apocryphal. Read more.