Go on without me
The gun feels light in his hand as Mike watches the first armed guard fall over the balcony.
Bang bang bang bang.
He shoots the next two before they can get a shot off and stops the other from pressing the alarm over on his left. He’s under fire from somewhere above so he ducks behind a low wall to reload. He’s seen where the sniper is hiding and picks him off. As each new enemy pops up he takes them out. Minutes later he’s made his way to the penthouse suite of the heavily fortified castle where his girlfriend is being held captive by the evil prince. Read more.
I’ve written another article for Vagenda, this time tackling the hairy issue of hair. Read it here if you dare. Warning, it’s a bit ruder than the last one.
She squeezed him in the doorway and he could smell that she was drunk already, as she kissed his cheek. She was a jovial drunk though and it had been a while since he had seen her. His friend was introduced and hugged. He passed a bag with some bottles of wine to the host who, smiling, managed to accept them without actually taking them. Jonah had strategically given the bag for his friend to hold just before they arrived while he tied his shoelace. Since he was meeting people for the first time he wanted to add to a good first impression. Read More
I will post another short story for you as part of the ongoing Eat My Shorts series tonight. The illustration is by my partner in crime, Danny Chidgey of Lazy Gramophone, who provided the wonderful inky pictures for my book Tastes of Ink
I look out at the crowd. I can see at least two people wearing sunglasses. Dickheads. We’re not at fucking Glastonbury. It’s night-time and we’re in a club. I don’t like to be judgemental but wearing shades indoors says a lot about a person straight off the bat. Actually it doesn’t say a lot, just one thing. Dickhead. Read More…
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tonight will be the first post from my new collection of short stories.
Eat My Shorts will be a kind of online book in weekly installments; every week a new story and a different artist, interpreting one of my stories in their own unique way. I’ve got a whole host of brilliant artists on board already and it is growing still.
I was asked what the name of the collection was the other day so Eat My Shorts is what I came up with on the spur of the moment. Apologies for that.
Lovers of words and pictures,
I’ve heard your silent cries and I will be posting some work up on this site soon.
I have asked a selection of the weirdest and most wonderful artists to illustrate some of my short stories, which I will be posting up here for your delectation. I have even illustrated one myself.
As the paranoid astronaut said to the carpark attendant; watch this space.
Hard time choosing a band name? Well look no further than the right sidebar on this page. Hundreds to choose from in all different genres. Keep refreshing until you find the right one for your sound.
NB If you do use one then you can buy my a pint, or a house dependent on how big you make it.
*Edit. If you are on your mobile then you will need to switch to normal view
I wrote an article for the funny and irreverant feminist blog, the Vagenda. They came up with the title.
You can read it here.
I have been asked to join Mr Gee, Raymond Antrobus, Dean Atta with Will Coldwell and Anya Pearson of inczine to perform at Leefest South London Music Festival 29-30 June.
Now if that line up doesn’t tickle your whatsit, the Mystery Jets and other music will also be going on. So I suggest you have a look at this link and sort yourself out a ticket to get down there this summer. www.leefest.org.uk/